Apr 30, 2020

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Mindfulness and the PPE’s for Your Well-being

  PPE’s, personal protective equipment, is vital to your personal physical safety and wellness. Mindfulness as a PPE for your well-being is equally important in the process.

 How you experience what is going on in the world is happening inside of you. Emotional overwhelm during this time requires PPE’s for Personal Protective Energy. 

  Managing your inner experience through mindfulness with the qualities of perseverance, persistence, patience, and pacing benefits the quality of your life Energy.

  This happens with intention, awareness, practice, and reflection dedicated to creating greater harmony and balance within.*

Perseverance is defined as an effort to weather difficulties and to not give up. Persistence is defined as continuing a task in spite of difficulty until you finally achieve your goal. In this time, both are necessary in order to reach wellness and well-being for all of us. It will take sustained effort over time for ourselves, health workers, family, friends, community, and the planet.

Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. ~Viktor E. Frankl

PPE’s for Point of Choice

In the midst of difficulties, you can focus on what is negative, or choose to the degree it is possible on what will bring love and care to your body, mind, and spirit. Through mindfulness, you can shift your attention to what you want to experience in your environment. As an example, you can ask yourself, “Does this contribute to creating love or peace of mind, or will this amplify my suffering, anxiety, and fear?The point of choice allows you to choose more calm and stability in your own life, and this also benefits the lives of others.

Coherence Continuum https://www.windowstotheheart.net
Read more about the Point of Choice

PPE’s for Patience, Persistence and Perseverance

Patience is defined as bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, or irritation. Impatience is bargaining with time and limitation.

This time of not knowing what is coming next in isolation or quarantine rouses negative thoughts and beliefs of fear and limitation. These thoughts can feel depleting, frustrating, and unbearable.

You can take on the experience of being put in time out to sit out from your life. Or, you can actually use this time as a calm down and find meaning for your life.

Choosing perseverance and pacing, even stillness changes your ability to experience life more directly and offers the opportunity to create more mindfulness to take in what is life-enhancing to build greater integrity in your wellness and well-being.

Several years ago when I was going to a difficult time processing the death of my brother while also being in the middle of a divorce, a dear friend advised me to just stay in the present moment. “If you are peeling a potato, just focus on peeling the potato,” she said. “I’m peeling the potato, I’m peeling the potato.” Doing so, allowed me some peace and allowed a space for calm and clear thinking in the midst of overwhelming feelings, thoughts, and experience.

Focusing on the moment, getting in touch with your breath, and on only what you are doing right now, with the sounds, the light, the color of what you are touching allows you to move from racing thoughts of worry, fear, and anxiety to a greater sense of presence.

The parable in this video speaks to building a foundation for greater calm and peace of mind within. This allows you to be in the present moment with whatever challenge or situation is happening in your life so you can choose your thoughts, emotions, and how to best respond.

PPE’s for Pacing

While pacing can be a movement back and forth from worry, over-thinking, waiting, and exasperation, it can also be a way to build endurance over time by allowing yourself to do and resonate with being and doing enough in a time where the world presents the picture of competition, consumerism and the message of not being or having enough on many fronts.

The point of choice for pacing is slowing down, breaking tasks into manageable parts, focusing your attention on what you are doing right now, asking for help when you need it, taking breaks, and prioritizing what needs to be done. and in what order.

Patience like a flower is dormant for awhile, then blooms to give us reason to weather one more mile.” ~Kimberly Rex

There are few templates for this possibility in the modern world. Living life in the fast lane makes it difficult to stop and get in touch with what is going on inside where a minute is all you have to process any part of your life.

In cleaning out a box recently, I found letters I wrote to dear friends prior to email. The letters were hand-written and filled with sharing from a personal level that today is often not possible in a text or email.

I discovered poems written for friends, loves, family members, and pets processing emotions of joy, grief, love in stages of my life through my emotional body translated to paper that expressed the inner landscape of what was alive in me at the time. Being in touch with what is alive in us today is an essential way to work with mindfulness.

Mindfulness practices that build on observation, self-regulation, and positive self-talk allow you to better manage your thoughts, emotions, and responses, especially in stressful times. This allows you to restore and build from your center to deliberately choose what you would like to experience in your body-mind system.

Taking time to nourish your body. mind and spirit with healthy foods, practices, and communication are vital to truly connect within, to nature, nurture, and life with mindful pacing.

How can you bring these qualities of mindfulness into your life more consistently in these times? How do you get in touch with what is happening within so you can heal and nourish the parts of yourself that feel overwhelmed, frightened, or depressed? How do you acknowledge and work with run-away thoughts and negative self-talk?

PPE’s for Your Life Energy

The quality of your life is vitally important in any time related to your personal health, wellness, and well-being. Your life energy is your vital essence. What you do to strengthen and protect your life energy is essential reflected in the ways you choose life-enhancing or depleting thoughts, beliefs, attitudes, and actions.

What you learn during this time can be transformational in how you live your life from this day forward. What you bring to the table in your life today can create mindfulness PPE’s for well-being that builds integrity in your wellness and well-being now and the rest of your life.

This is your personal invitation to benefit from Mindfulness PPE’s for your well-being in your life so you can apply these skills to the present moment in any situation and into the future.

Build mindfulness into your life to benefit your wellness and well-being here.

Kimberly Rex, MS is an Advanced Resonance Repatterning Practitioner, Person-Centered Expressive Therapist, and Wellness and Well-being Personal Life Coach. She works with clients all over the world by phone and Skype with sessions and programs that create greater integrity in your wellness and well-being.

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Apr 5, 2020

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4 Ways to Connect to Love in These Times

Connecting to love in these times of staying at home with social distancing and isolation during the COVID-19 pandemic, I have found more time to ruminate about what has been going on in the background of my mind. Hearing about the death of loved ones, healthcare, EMT workers, and nursing home patients widens the gap of separation while longing to somehow know how to offer love and compassion.

This article gives you 4 ways to connect to love in these times. This time touches places of anxiety, loss, and grief you have experienced in your life in the past. These triggers bring up fear about how to cope with the anxiety, loss, and grief brought on by separation from others in the present.

1. Connect to Love in Yourself and Others

With all that is happening, the journey of love has to start from within. Where have you felt separated from yourself, not felt safe or protected, not able to live your truth, or feel more connected with others? Underneath is the need for mercy, self-love, and compassion.

Connect to Love in Your Heart

2. Connect to Love through Forgiveness

Connecting with the whole of yourself creates greater self-love. This love allows you to connect with greater compassion with the whole of others. Listening to your biofeedback, thoughts, emotions and physical response to what is happening inside of you creates the opportunity for empathy in considering others in the same way.

The 3 Directions of Forgiveness in the Buddhist tradition takes into account the need to be able to free up space in your heart and mind through the process of forgiveness. These three directions include what others have done to you, what you have done to others, and what you have done to yourself.

Forgiving allows you to open to greater awareness and understanding. Others have an influence on your awareness. Your responses are based on your perception of other’s behaviors, words, and actions. This impacts your ability to see the underlying intent and need for connection or boundaries in the situation.

Acknowledging lessons from the past by giving space for grief, anger, and hurt that constricted your life energy creates new possibilities for your thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes to choose new pathways when you put the burden down.

Jack Kornfield and Forgiveness Meditation

3. Connect to Love through Giving Back Responsibility

It can seem incredibly difficult in connecting to resolve traumatic early experiences alone. These parts that have felt unheard or acknowledged need the attention of your adult part and higher self. This means that you are able to respond to these parts within you now that are attempting to protect and manage your emotions of anxiety, fear and confusion from the past in a way that creates support, nurture and mercy in the present.

According to Steven Levine, this is having mercy on ourselves and others through conscious living. In this time where we become are made acutely aware of life and death, it is this work that allows you to expand the space within yourself to allow connection to your Self, your family, friends and loved ones more compassionately.

Part of the forgiveness process includes giving back the responsibility to others who have abused or harmed you. In these cases, you are working with creating compassion for yourself and your unmet needs for protection and safety to transform the negative experience.

In Family Systems, not giving back the responsibility to others for their actions puts you in the arrogant position to the perpetrator making you the big one taking on the responsibility and burden. You were only the little one or perhaps a peer. Giving back responsibility is actually a way to create order in your system. This allows each person to work with their own fate. This gives each person the inner power, dignity, respect, and responsibility to choose how to respond to life in a new way.

So, in these cases, it is vital to acknowledge the responsibility to end the Victim-Perpetrator Cycle. This happens inside of you. You might never receive a literal apology, but, working with the shift in perception of a negative experience to empower you now, changes your life in the present. By no longer carrying the burden, you free up life energy the imprint of abuse, stress response, anxiety, and unease that you carried.

This is where your ability to respond to life in a more authentic and life-enhancing way through choice begins to happen.

4. Connect to Love through Gratitude and Grace

Being separated from loved ones miles away, in nursing homes, or in hospitals, and not knowing when this could or might happen to people we know draws us into the space of grief. It can create a feeling of being powerless. Connection, love, and gratitude is the healing balm. Tell others you care and love them right now to bridge the distance.

Gratitude

Many years ago, in reading Richard Louv’s book,Web of Life: Weaving the Values That Sustain Us, he wrote about sending Gratitude Letters to family members and friends in place of holiday gifts due to lack of money. It is a beautiful idea for any occasion, especially at this time when it is difficult when you might be struggling with finances and not knowing when you will see your loved ones again.

This can also be a time to write a gratitude letter to a loved one who has passed. Your words have meaning in the Unified Field of Consciousness. They also have a loving influence on healing your Family System in the past, present, and future.

Grace Notes: A Living Eulogy TED Talk

Why are eulogies only for the dying? In this funny, touching talk, Andrea Driessen argues that writing your loved ones a “grace note” – a kind of living eulogy – is a potent tool for connection now that also lessens the pain of grief and regret later. Everyone wants to matter, and Andrea’s wish is that we share what matters most with our loved ones while they’re still alive to hear it.

Family Systems is one of the many healing disciplines within the body of Resonance Repatterning® work. If you would like to work with this process to create greater integrity in your wellness and well-being, sessions are available by phone, Skype and proxy. Start your process here.

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Mar 19, 2020

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Creating Well-being at Home through the Coronavirus Outbreak

Creating well-being during the coronavirus outbreak can be challenging. Social distancing, self-isolation, and quarantine are necessary to diminish the impact of its reach, however, it can feel frustrating and confusing. Changing your schedule, working, homeschooling, or feeling confined in your living space can push the limits.

Mental health thrives on knowing what to expect and the ability to make things happen. When you feel like you have very few choices and are thrust into survival mode, it’s important to feel like you can choose what you create with your life energy.

This article offers a compilation of suggestions to Calm, Create, Clean, Clear, and Cultivate greater harmony and balance working with your own life energy from your own home.

Be sure to bookmark this page to check all of the links within the article as needed.

well-being

Calm

Make time for quiet and relaxation. Take the time you wouldn’t have in your otherwise busy and hectic life. This is an opportunity to create greater well-being with harmony and balance.

Start by getting a piece of paper and dividing it into sections for “Calm, Create, Clean, Clear, and Cultivate.” You can use this template as a gentle reminder for a daily or weekly checklist to take care of your wellness and well-being. Know that each day is different, and some days you might just need to rest. On these days, you certainly can check off “Calm.”

  • Take time to relax. Get in touch with your breath. Bring yourself into your center when you feel anxious, feel frustrated or afraid.
  • Find an inspirational quote or read from a book of reflections to start your day.
  • Be sure to keep to your sleep schedule. Get off computers and electronics by at least 9 PM and into bed by 11 PM. This will allow you to calm down before sleep, and then detoxify your entire system during the night.
  • Try a Meditation App: here.
  • Try these 6 Acupressure Points to Relieve Anxiety here.
  • Ideas to Relieve Your Anxiety and Overwhelm here.
  • Go outside to sit in your yard or walk in nature if you can go outside. This will be grounding and calm your Nervous System while strengthening your immune system
  • Take in Virtual Nature through listening to videos with waves, beaches, streams, forests, mountains, etc.

Create

  • Place a calendar in a central place to keep everyone in the loop related to how the days and week will go to enhance your sense of well-being. Keep wake up and sleep times consistent. Build-in time for meals, play, movement, work, study, videos, rest and communication. This will go a long way to reduce conflict and create healthy boundaries for what to expect during the day.
  • Designate specific times for home school, study, bath, bedtime, and chores for children. If you need to change your routine, keep others in the loop.
  • Create a list of important contacts related to healthcare professionals, websites for work and school, with family emergency steps, plans for your pets and best practice guidelines for self-isolation and quarantine protocols. Suggestions here.
  • Create time to attend to your finances related to banking, investments, debt and emergency funds.
  • Create time to express yourself. Perhaps some hobby you have can be rejuvenated in a painting, song, story, music, sewing, or a building project you want to start, get back to, or complete.
  • Make your mealtimes creative with time in the kitchen to try new recipes or make family favorites. Focus on nurture when you eat by limiting distractions, eating slowly and appreciating the support healthy food offers you.
  • Plan a garden or start seeds for the spring. Include herbs for cooking, vegetables, fruit that grow well in your region, and flowers that create beautiful, feed pollinators, as well as healing and edible varieties.
  • Keep your priorities with necessary appointments. If you have a doctor’s appointment, counseling, work meeting, or 12-Step Program commitment, communicate by phone or virtual online video and/or audio spaces. Attend a 12 Step Virtual Meetings here.

Clean

  • This is an opportunity to clean out some or all of those drawers, closets, walls, shower curtains, garden beds, surface areas, appliances, behind your doors and spaces where you collect things that need to be sorted or gone through to organize or sanitize. Do not do this all at once. Pace yourself. Let the mantra, “One small thing,” take you from room to room. Breaking projects down into small sizable tasks with built-in success creates motivation and energy for new possibilities in your life.

Clear the clutter in your life.

  • Clear space for what you would like to experience in your life. Take inventory of your negative thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes that keep you from moving forward with greater integrity in action for your wellness and well-being. Get more ideas for pacing yourself here.
  • Clear some of your files, drawers, closets, workspace, notebooks, computer storage space, under your bed, kitchen cabinets, boxes, garage, or attic, etc. of items you no longer need. If you cannot leave your home, assign a space or box to collect items for recycle or disposal in the future.

Cultivate

Cultivate time for yourself and your family in ways that enhance bonding through listening, working out, playing and learning.

  • Make time to talk with family and friends. Check-in with each other to see how you are doing. This can be by phone, FaceTime, Skype, computer webcam or NextDoor.
  • Remember to express love and appreciation in your communications. Keep in touch with ecards, cards in the mail, and check-ins. Stay in touch with elders to find out how they are doing, and find out what they might need to know or have for resources. More protection resources for self-isolation and quarantine here.
  • Spend time with your children listening to them tell you what is going on for them. Play, tell or read stories and sing with them. This will nurture you both, and bring more joy to your experience. Try some At-Home Activities for Children here. Encourage daily creativity with Mo Willem’s daily “Lunch Doodles”.
  • More resources for children here.
  • Strengthen your communication with your partner, children, family, friends and business cohorts more meaningful with non-violent communication resources here.
  • Stretch each day. Movement and exercise support your body-mind system in cleansing your lymphatic system and creating neurotransmitters that counteract depression. Find out more here.
  • Try Free Workout and Exercise Apps here.
  • Break up your day with movement. You can march in place, walk from one part of your home to another, take a walk or get a glass of water. Look away from the close-up work on your computer every 30 minutes by looking at something far away or out the window. This will decrease the stress on your eye muscles.
  • Keep a journal. Record what makes you grateful each day. You can do this with drawings, doodles, writing, scrapbooking, or photos. Use your journal to also get in touch with what is most important to your health and well-being. Choose where you would like to dedicate your energy. Is it a project? Is it working for a specific cause? Is it a realization about something you have had no time to consider? What will make this time offer you about the truth you want to live?
  • Take breaks and take care of yourself. Take time daily to do something that is personally supportive of your body-mind system. Whether that means giving yourself a facial, taking a long bath with lavender essential oil, reading a book that you wanted to finish but never had time until now, taking a nap, saying “No” when you need time or space, or pacing yourself during the day, it’s important to follow-through to nurture yourself during this time.
Kimberly Rex, MS

I’d like to invite you to continue to create greater integrity in your wellness and well-being with Windows to the Heart Repatterning. Get 5 calming activities pdf Ebook when you sign up for our FREE monthly Newsletter and Exclusive Re-pattern Your Life Events

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Mar 8, 2020

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COVID-19: Natural Ways to Protect Yourself and Others

In the past few weeks, I’ve read, listened to and compiled natural ways to protect friends, family, classmates, clients and myself during this Coronavirus/COVID-19 virus. This epidemic affects us all, and what we do for ourselves, we also do for others, our community and everyone across the planet.

I live in Washington State where the virus has been fatal. So I offer these suggestions as natural ways to keep others in the know with, I admit, a long and growing list. Take what you need to create greater integrity in your wellness and sense of well-being at this time. *

Golden Rule~painting by Norman Rockwell at the United Nations
“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

Natural Ways to Take Care of Yourself during COVID-19

  1. Wash areas like your work surfaces, eating space, cellphone, keys, computer keyboard, and doorknobs with an antiseptic cleaning spray. For ideas, I’ve collected natural DIY Cleaning and Hand Sanitizer Recipes, here: https://www.pinterest.com/kimberlyrex/aromatherapy-herbalism-for-wellness-and-well-being/
  2. Wash plastic bottles or mugs after you use them once. Washing them with hot soapy water or in the dishwasher works. Starbucks is currently not allowing you to use a personal cup to keep it safe. It’s a good idea to take this opportunity to strengthen your immune system. So make your own coffee or tea at home and place it in a personal cup or thermos to take with you. Get some ideas for immune-boosting lifestyle habits and herbs to add to your tea blend here: https://www.windowstotheheart.net/10-natural-ways-to-strengthen-your-immune-system/
  3. Keep a bottle of hand sanitizer that is at least 60% alcohol at your work station, in a bag you carry with you, and in your car. This will allow you to use it as needed. Rub your hands together for at least 20 seconds or until the sanitizer is dry. Research on virus time on surfaces: https://www.aol.com/article/news/2020/03/11/tests-show-new-virus-lives-on-some-surfaces-for-up-to-3-days/23947156/
  4. It’s recommended to attempt to sneeze or cough into your elbow. Wash your hands after you sneeze or cough, when you are shopping especially in the grocery, touch the shopping cart, handle money especially before you eat something, And, of course, wash your hands with soap and water in general before you eat. Washing your hands for 30 seconds is the recommended time suggested, or in the time it takes you to sing the “Happy Birthday” song.
  5. Use a tissue for touching your face for an itch, an ATM machine, Redbox or movie dispenser, or any electronic device. Use a tissue or paper towel in public bathrooms. Use a paper towel after you wash your hands to touch the exit doorknob on your way out of the restroom. Fold tissue or towel inward and discard after leaving the restroom. You can also use a tissue for touching knobs, steering wheels and handles.
  6. How to Keep from Touching Your Face: It might be helpful to observe your own behavior for about 10-20 minutes to see what you are doing that involves touching your face. Do you find yourself pushing your hair back? Are you touching part of your face related to your glasses? Are you leaning on your hands? Suggestions for substituting: a fidget ball, crossed hands, hands in lap, or keeping your hands busy with a bracelet are just some of the ideas in this article: https://www.wikihow.com/Keep-Your-Hands-Away-from-Your-Face
  7. Use a pen tip for pressing numbers or letters into an electronic device. Take your own pen to pharmacies or stores instead of using another pen given to you. You can also wear gloves.
  8. When to wear a face mask: https://propakistani.pk/2020/03/03/if-youre-still-buying-or-wearing-a-mask-for-coronavirus-stop-now-and-read-this/or Make your own face mask.

Natural Ways to Diminish to Protect Yourself and Others with COVID-19

Greeting with a smile and hands at the chest is a greeting from India (image from wikipedia.org)
  • Diminish hand-to-hand contact. Instead, you can SMILE, do an elbow-to-elbow greeting, just say, “Hello, Good morning or Buenos Dias!” There are some ideas that include doing toe-to-toe greetings, slightly nodding your head, placing your hands at your chest with palms together, using the peace sign, or just waving. You can even come up with your own original greeting in your workplace or with your co-workers, friends, and family. Agreement and buy-in are important.
  • Diminish eating finger foods, or use a utensil to pick up your food. Diminish sharing the food you are eating with other people from your plate or theirs, or shared bowls to protect everyone’s immune system. Make sharing with others what you talk about with each other.
  • Diminish junk food, sugar, alcohol, or acidic foods that compromise your immune system.
  • Decrease visits to others in nursing facilities or medical facilities if you have a runny nose, are coughing, have a fever or are not feeling well. You can always talk by phone, or use Face Time.
  • Limit your exposure to other people who are sniffling, sneezing, or coughing. A distance of at least 3 feet has been suggested by some experts or 6-9 feet away depending on the circumstances.
  • Limit traveling. This means limiting exposure to the virus during travel and in large crowds especially for people with fragile health conditions or are elderly. If you have traveled to an area that has reported positive for the virus, check in with your health professional to get feedback about what you should do to protect yourself and others.
  • Check out refund policies for travel commitments for plans you have already made, ie. planes, trains, buses, etc. Consider your options before you pass the no refund period in these agreements.

Natural Ways to Increase to Protect Yourself and Others with COVID-19

Wear glasses to avoid droplet exposure from the virus (image from wikipedia.org)
  • Wear glasses instead of contact lenses to protect yourself from droplets from sneezing and coughing. You can get a pair at a Dollar Store.
  • Family or friend phone or computer contact and awareness for community support if you are not feeling well by asking for what you need in the way of groceries or supplies. These supplies can be delivered to your door without you having to go outside.
  • Contact your health professional office to get information about symptoms and recommendations for steps to take regarding where to go and who to contact if needed. If you or a family member has a compromised immune system due to heart, lung, cancer, diabetes, recent surgeries or auto-immune disorders, take extra precautions for protecting them. Notice when you are experiencing difficulty breathing, excessive phlegm, coughing, fever, and runny nose that persists.
  • Increase your awareness of your school, business and community policies and cancellations related to COVID-19. Check out their websites. Find out about your sick leave and daycare options.
  • Speak to your insurance company about the best options and steps for medical care if needed.
  • Take inventory of your responsibilities and appointments for the next few months. Prioritize what is most important to you. Plan beforehand for errands, classes, and events where you are interacting with groups in close proximity. Let go of situations or reschedule where it is possible.
  • Take a spray cleaner with you to cleanse surface areas to close proximity or group events. Go shopping at times when there are fewer people to navigate at stores or appointments. Use the sanitizing cloth offered at the entrance of stores for shopping carts.
  • Wash towels, clothes, gloves, sheets, blankets, and scarves after weekly use. Wash your cloth shopping bags after the week, or after possible exposure.
  • Take time to relax. Get in touch with your breath. Bring yourself into your center when you feel anxious, frustrated or afraid. Be sure to keep to your sleep schedule. Getting off computers and electronics by at least 9 PM and into bed by 11 PM allows you to calm down before sleep, and then detoxify your entire system during the night. To receive 5 more in-depth ideas to calm your body-mind system sign up here for our FREE monthly Newsletter and Exclusive Re-pattern Your Life Events

*Please share this list with others. If you have more ideas for this list, please send them to kimberly@windowstotheheart.net

Thank you!

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Feb 12, 2020

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Communicating Your Feelings in Relationships

John Gray, an author, states that your ability to feel love is in proportion to your ability to tell the complete truth about your feelings. In Family Systems work this includes the possibility that your early family experience taught you that certain emotions were allowed, while others were not tolerated. Communicating your feelings in relationships is directly related to your early family experiences.

For example, perhaps in your family, it was okay to show your “happiness,” but not your sadness or vice versa. This would make it difficult to express the range of emotions any place on the spectrum related to these two poles: happiness or sadness. This could have shown up in a family where you were told over and over again to smile or to put up with situations that were painful.

Not expressing sadness could have also been a way to take care of a parent who was depressed or ill. In some cases expressing any emotion or feeling could have felt dangerous. These earlier emotional state experiences would limit your ability to communicate your feelings and needs in your current relationships. This would diminish your ability to experience greater intimacy, choice, or your ability to live your values in action.

In order to work with communicating your feelings, you must first be able to give yourself permission to get in touch with what you are feeling, and how it is affecting you.

When you find yourself feeling critical, judgmental, afraid, or angry, this points to an unmet need in the present that could have been triggered by material from the past. The way you attend to these feelings in the present can give you a window of understanding into the reason you feel separated from the truth within yourself today. Unresolved negative earlier experiences create repetitive negative communication patterns in your relationships today.

This could show up in patterns related to communicating your feelings in the following ways.

  • Suppression of highly charged feelings that lead you to withdraw into yourself with an inner sense of fear, guilt, or disconnect from what your body is telling you
  • Discharge of highly charged feelings through anger, tears or gossip. This could lead to talking negatively about the other person to others, and/or blaming the person who upset you for what you are experiencing without ever resolving what is going on inside of you.

Communicating your feelings in a coherent way in the present would include sharing feelings about what is going on inside you at a deeper level. Acknowledgment of your need that is not being met would allow you to resolve the emotionally charged and painful feelings from the past. By doing so, your system creates space for all of your feelings including those not allowed in your family’s rules so they can inform and energize your life. By doing so you then have access to the full spectrum of your emotions for feedback, and a deeper connection to love for yourself and others.

Being able to communicate your feelings is beneficial for your relationships in that it gives you the ability to give and receive feedback in a nourishing way. This includes expressing your need and communication of your feelings related to the behavior of a person instead of the person themselves. It allows you to change how you perceive the situation, and also builds a foundation for respectful interaction in your relationships. Instead of attacking the essence of another person, it becomes possible to work with new possibilities for changes in how you interact. This makes it easier to work with your needs and the boundaries that are important for you to start, sustain or complete communications that match your inner values.

Kimberly Rex, MS

Resonance Repatterning® works with underlying material related to communicating your feelings to create greater safety, trust, love, and understanding in your relationships today. You can experience a tangible and sustainable change to benefit communicating your feelings in your relationships. Schedule a session with Kimberly here.

Sign up for FREE monthly newsletter with beneficial natural modalities, articles on wellness and well-being, and exclusive Repattern Your Life events here.

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Dec 29, 2019

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Letting Go to Create Something Good with Your Life

At this time of year, traditionally, there is a collective sense of both endings and beginnings. You might find yourself making a ritual of letting go of or throwing out items, considering stopping a habit, or looking at what has kept you in patterns that do not seem to change.

There is a big difference however in the process of letting go and throwing things out. Letting go is a process of creating space within that builds greater harmony in what life has presented over time. It implies a relationship with what you are presented with instead of toughing it out, manipulating, being the victim, the rescuer or the perpetrator. Letting go allows you to create something good with your life.

Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.~Herman Hesse

Throwing out things that are no longer serving your spiritual growth is different than throwing out a broken vase or ripped pants. Throwing out can literally be a place of denial, inability to work with, or learn from a situation or relationship. While taking care of your life energy is healthy, throwing out the lesson from a situation or relationship can keep you in the gerbil wheel of repetition. In these cases, throwing out the lesson is not really letting go.

At the Still Point

It is really unconscious negative patterns that keep you in circular dead-end pathways. The false hope of getting your genuine needs met in a situation or relationship that brings you back to your original negative pattern without internal positive change leads to repeating the cycle over and over.

via GIPHY

Getting to a place where you can start to work with the repetitive pattern means you need to call upon your body, mind, and spirit. Mindfulness and time to consider what is happening within can lead you to a greater sense of grounding and homeostasis. It is only in this place that your inner wisdom and energy can collect for reviewing what is going on, and then allow you to consider the next steps.

“At the still point of the turning world. Neither flesh nor fleshless;
Neither from nor towards; at the still point, there the dance is,
But neither arrest nor movement. And do not call it fixity, 
Where past and future are gathered. Neither movement from nor towards,
Neither ascent nor decline. Except for the point, the still point,
There would be no dance, and there is only the dance.”
~ T S Eliot

Family Systems work is one of the many disciplines in Resonance Repatterning. Modalities work with creating order within your system so you can experience the freedom to face life and do something good with it. Doing something good relates to giving dignity to all of the members of your system by allowing them to take responsibility and place so you can do the same with your own life.

Widening the circle of your beliefs so that you can explore new possibilities in your life is one way to explore new emotions, responses, and interactions with the world around you. Knowing that the circle of life through generations has brought you here allows you to expand your awareness.

From Circle to Maze to Spiral

Maze image from Wikipedia.org

The questions we ask ourselves from time to time like “Why do I keep going through this in my mind?” “Why does this keep happening or coming up?” point to the way we are interacting with the material. Considering events, relationships, and emotional anchors to the past can leave you feeling like you have not solved the puzzle, and have made no progress in your growth process. It can leave you feeling like you are lost in a maze.

Letting go of the idea that the material from the past is backtracking, an impossible puzzle, or circular, consider it as a spiral.

Coherence Continuum http://www.windowstotheheart.net

The spiral is a spiritualized circle. In the spiral form, the circle, uncoiled, has ceased to be vicious; it has been set free. ~Vladimir Nabokov

This can show up in your beliefs about a relationship or your self. You can become more deeply aware of your innocence and fragility in the past with compassion. This allows you to free yourself from judgment or blame so that you can use this information for healing your greater connection to self. Letting go, in this case, creates new ways of seeing choice, and for opportunities in how you can move more securely into your life today.

Labyrinths

I once met a woman at a Resonance Repatterning® Conference who told her story of visiting the Chartres Cathedral Labyrinth in France. She walked the labyrinth with a question in her heart. When she finally reached the center, she met a man with whom she spent the rest of the day in conversation. She described the meeting as a spiritual appointment with him. They each walked the labyrinth with a question in their own hearts and met at the center at exactly the same time. They both learned something from each other related to the question they held in their hearts as they walked the labyrinth that day.

Appointments with life can also include being thrown off the path in challenging situations. These situations can be opportunities for a point of choice for spiraling down into greater non-coherence or spiraling up into greater awareness of your inner strengths and values. No matter what the situation, person or problem that shows up in your life, it is an appointment that can lead to a greater sense of feeling whole while integrating parts that have been excluded or neglected with greater love, attention, and expression.

New Pathways to Wholeness

In a workshop with Jean Houston at a Humanistic Psychology Conference, she compared a kind of schizophrenia or fragmented parts not yet integrated or available to work within the body-mind system to what she phrased as polyphrenia. Polyphrenia creates a wider and more inclusive space for taking the information and lessons from your spiral journey through life to heal, acknowledge and integrate the lessons from your life experiences so you can use that wisdom for your life today.

The point of a maze is to find its center. The point of a labyrinth is to find your center. New pathways to wholeness are created when you let go of the resistance, guilt, resentment, self-pity, anger, negative judgments and regrets. This happens with an acceptance that your life path includes spiritual discovery with challenges along the way.

The journey you take in life is like a labyrinth. The labyrinth includes the spiral and circle together. A labyrinth is a metaphor for your own spiritual journey that includes all kinds of appointments, twists, turns, and wanderings through life. It is a pathway that starts with the still point to focus and let go of resistance to an expected outcome. By walking mindful of your experience, it leads you to your center. By taking the inspiration and insight, this creates a widened circle of awareness. This awareness can then be applied to your life with what you have learned in your center. Letting go and learning along the way creates new pathways of experience with grace, compassion, and deeper understanding.

Willingness to become more greatly accepting and aware creates the pathway back out into the world with the gems of insight from your journey within. Making space for your feelings and experiences with what they are telling you informs you of what you want to create based on your inner needs and how to live these values in action. This leads you on the return path with what you have learned towards a greater sense of life purpose, meaning, and feeling of doing something good with your life.

Walking a labyrinth is just one of many ways to move into your center. Meditation, taking time for your self, getting in touch with your breath, mindful movement, drawing, journaling or getting into nature can all be ways of reflecting on what is going on in your life right now.

Resonance Repatterning® sessions get to the root of what you need to experience a positive and sustainable change in your life. Your body is a map of your life’s experiences. It is through working with this information that transformation through the connection to your family system’s patterns can be healed. By doing so, you gain awareness, a greater sense of ease, peace and author-ship for your life.

Contact Kimberly Rex, MS to set up your personal Resonance Repatterning session by phone, Skype or in-person here.

Re-pattern your life to experience greater integrity in your wellness and well-being.

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