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Transforming the Cracks in the Vase

Challenging and traumatic experiences can create cracks in the vase within your body-mind-spirit system. Some cracks might be physical injuries. However, emotional, mental, and injury to your sense of self also create cracks. Some challenges in your life have been resolved successfully. Other traumatic challenges feel like open wounds within. These parts have not experienced the release or completion of the mobilized energy required to return to greater harmony and balance. When this happens, the trauma lives on and it is as if you are frozen in trauma time without any way to make sense of or to mend what you have experienced.

The Embodiment of the Cracks in the Vase

Early challenging family experiences get tied to your need for safety and bonding. In fact, these early patterns of attachment get played out in social bonding patterns throughout life. As a little one, you experienced first attachment, and this gets translated into your Social Engagement System with your interactions throughout life. This includes patterns in business, relationships, and groups to which you belong. If your body-mind system pairs neglect, anger, or danger with early needs for bonding and attachment, this binds you to this bonding pattern and impacts the blueprint for your relationships throughout life. This shows up as anxiety or avoidance instead of your ability to experience security, safety and trust in your relationships.

“We live in a world that has a cognitive bias and assumes that our actions are voluntary. We are confronted with questions related to motivation and outcome. We are asked about costs, risks, and benefits. However, state shifts in the neural regulation of the autonomic nervous system are usually not voluntary, although the state shifts have a profound impact on behavior. The state shifts occur in a more reflexive manner when we are confronted by specific cues in the environment.”
~Stephen W. Porges

Taking the journey of healing within begins with examing those unconscious parts of yourself from your stressful or traumatic earlier experiences. They actually take a great deal of life energy with the overlapping fight, flight, freeze blueprint patterns that contribute to relationships without safe or close bonding, abusive interactions without trust, codependence, or inability to feel like you are enough.

This protection and management might show up as frustration, anxiety, fear, anger, repetitive and painful relationship experiences, inability to discern danger, or difficulties making decisions. Trauma impacts your thoughts, your Nervous System, your gut, your immune system, your beliefs, and your ability to navigate life with safety and trust.

These inner parts can be held in place by guilt from the negative messages you received as a child. Tied to the core rules of your family, taking the burden of the system’s belief system can limit your ability to face life fully. Guilt for actions you did or did not take and words you regret can keep you tied to negative earlier experiences. It can influence how you relate to your Family System by expanding or breaking your group’s rules. This leads to systemic guilt, however, when met with a shift in perspective, can lead to greater freedom

. Shame can also result in a pervasive sense that you are fundamentally bad, wrong, or broken. Whether is a family pattern or you take the burden of the system that judges your inner being and worth make it difficult to expand into a new awareness or to move on.

However, these parts and how you responded in life were efforts to meet basic life needs for safety, respect, love, purpose, and meaning at any given point in time.

“There is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.”~Leonard Cohen

Transforming the Cracks in the Vase

photo by Kimberly Rex

Resonance Repatterning®sessions allow you to connect the dots from the past to the present. It becomes clear where the root causes, relationships, and experiences are replaying in trauma time in the present. Whether it be in an intimate relationship where abuse is happening in the same way you experienced it as a young child, or in a business relationship where the pattern of sabotage is happening due to family patterns of loss or shame in the present, realizing that you are recycling the same patterns gives you greater freedom of choice.

Every next level of your life will demand a different you.” ~Leonardo DiCaprio

Sometimes things feel worse at the beginning before they get better. This is borne out of working with the pain of your experiences that have been hidden for your own protection. However, it is in this very process of working to heal the cracks in the vase that self-acceptance is forged to create greater personal empowerment. How you responded in life at earlier times were efforts to meet basic life needs for safety, respect, love, purpose, and meaning from the perspective and point of view at the time. Self-acceptance and forgiveness contribute to reclaiming emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual real estate to interact with the world.

woman doing hand heart sign
Photo by Hassan OUAJBIR on

The transformation process includes the essentials of self-love. It is asking yourself if you can love yourself at the moment for the experiences of your past including all the time spent in suspension with what you know today you could be, choose, and live free of the constriction that your negative experiences, feelings, relationships, thoughts, and choices created.

Bringing Gold to the Cracks in the Vase

When you look at the word evolution, you can see the word, love at the beginning. The word leans into the process of creating the word and comes from within. Seeing things in new ways literally comes from opening to new perspectives created from the internal positive changes you bring to your awareness. Bring gold to the cracks in the vase to allow the light to enter your body-mind-spirit system. By doing so, you are then able to turn things around and radiate your own light and love. This happens because you resonate with the freedom to be yourself more fully.

The truth is, the time is always here and you can begin now. Time is of the essence to relax, rest and update the changes you need to transform your life. It is this place that allows emptiness and also fullness. The need for attention to yourself with all of your parts allows wholeness to emerge in new ways.

It is time to speak and move from a place of what is emerging as your truth from within. Know that you will take care of these needs that have been submerged or hidden in the cracks in the vase. Get to know and listen to your gut, your mind, and your body. Have compassion for places where you have made errors, and give earlier parts of yourself credit for doing the best they could at the time, for protecting you. Take the lessons and use them. Take the wisdom from your mistakes so you can learn from them with your ability to respond from a greater place of integrity and sovereignty today.

Give yourself permission to say “No,” to change your mind, or to take a pause so you can make space for emptiness. Build a new library of responses to life on your terms. At the same time, say “Yes,” to life when it really feels good to you, and revel in the wonder of fullness. Experiment with new awareness, knowledge, inspiration, gratitude, and spontaneity. Allow joy, fun, beauty, and pleasure a place in your experience and in your being.

Shine the light on what you truly need and what you would do to be the author of your own life aligned with love. As you do so, this also allows you to know what safety and trust feel like and this allows you to be more at ease to take action and communicate from your gold standard with more life-enhancing choices for yourself, with others, and in the world.

Kimberly Rex, MS
Kimberly Rex, MS

Kimberly Rex, MS is an Advanced Resonance Repatterning® practitioner, Person-Centered Expressive Therapist, and Wellness and Well-being Life Coach. She works with people all over the world via Skype, phone, and proxy.

Find out how Resonance Repatterning benefits your life. Set up a personal session or sign up for a free monthly newsletter with articles, natural healing modalities, and exclusive group sessions here.

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