Acceptance is part of the transformation process. It is as important as setting goals. Many times, this word can be confused with passivity. However, paired with insight and awareness, it is a beneficial tool for positive change.
Acceptance and “Would of, Could of, Should of”
This saying speaks to the place in your thinking where your upset about what is happening in your life today is based on the meaning you have given your experience from the past. While you make lists of what your life might have been like had you made different choices, or better yet, others had made different choices, it is an exercise in futility unless you gain insight and meaning from the gentle or difficult nudging to shift your perception of your experience. It is through the channel of acknowledging the regret that allows you to untangle from the past so that you can identify your inner needs in your current experience more fully.
Acceptance Means Moving into the Present
“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.” ~Joseph Campbell
Where you are today is a summation of many factors including what you needed to work out or work through in your life experience. Your experience is based on the conscious awareness you bring to it. Much like the cycle of a butterfly, you are only able to manage your direct sense of what is happening to you and around you based on where you are in your evolutionary process.
A caterpillar does not have yet the capacity to fly, however, it has the capacity within it to build a cocoon to house the transformation process. Acceptance does not mean that you sit and wallow. Acceptance is acknowledging the reality of what is going on in your life, so you can look at your current choices, plan and go into action in the present based on what you have learned through right action.
Acceptance: Accept Where I Am, so I Know What I Might Be
“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.”~ Lao Tzu
Accepting where you are in life in the moment in any particular area of your life creates freed up constricted energy that was devoted to worrying, fear, pain, and frustration. When accepting a situation free of resistance, it allows the opening of seeing more in-depth and with greater clarity. It allows your body-mind system to work with greater harmony and balance to create transformation within yourself, your relationships while energizing new possibilities that transcend where you have already traveled.
Like a butterfly emerging from a cocoon, it takes time to strengthen its wings after completing its inner process from caterpillar to butterfly. Each butterfly opens and closes its newly found wings stretching within the enclosure until it is able to release itself from its cellular walls. The limits of this enclosure allowed it to become better able to be something more than a caterpillar, however, it was through the different stages in the process of transformation that allowed for new possibilities of freedom and movement.
Acceptance is an integral part of the transformation process of Resonance Repatterning®. Sessions benefit your ability to appreciate your inner knowing and resilience no matter what you are facing in life. This process allows you to move beyond your limiting beliefs to experience greater harmony and balance in your body-mind system so that you can strengthen your wing s for greater freedom and life energy to dedicate to your wellness and well-being. To start your transformation process this year, getNewsletter and Exclusive Re-pattern Your Life Events
Kimberly Rex, MSis an Advanced Resonance Repatterning® practitioner, Master Wellness and Well-being Life Coach, and Person-Centered Expressive Therapist.
Is there a message for all of us to consider as we traditionally look at making a change? It’s not just any change. It’s changing that moves you from where you are in the present into an expanded view of your life, or in ways to improve your wellness and well-being whether that be health, relationship, or business choices.
When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.
~Lao Tzu
In the process of making any change, there is the need to first learn from where you are standing now. I remember listening to Jean Houston speaking several years ago about making change at the quantum level. She spoke of the mechanics of a quantum leap where an electron jumps into a new expression of something greater than itself on its own. However, before this happens, the molecule creates homeostasis. This applies to your life in the same way in the beginning stages of making change as a place of getting in touch with your feelings, thoughts, and insights that have brought you to the need to make a change in the present as an essential part of considering a positive change.
Process of Making Change is a Point of Choice
Change takes you out of routine, habit, and the familiar. At this crossroad, you have a Point of Choice. You can either stay in your current situation, relationship or pattern or choose to experience something completely new. Leaping into new territory or redefining your life through the filter of needs, resources and benefits is essential for long-lasting benefits. This means making time and space to define where you are headed.
When we feel stuck, going nowhere–even starting to slip backward–we may actually be backing up to get a running start.
~Dan Millman
Based on the book, Changing for Good by James Prochaska, Ph.D., there are aspects of the process that can be described as The Five Cycles of Change. The feeling process that accompanies these cycles is similar to what Elizabeth Kubler-Ross researched in her description of the Grief Process including denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Each aspect is unique to each person in sequence, duration and intensity.
The Five Cycles of Change
1. Pre-contemplation: This is the place where you are likely still in denial, and not yet aware that you want or need to change.
2. Contemplation: At this point, you may be starting to experience uneasiness about your current situation. You may experience a sense of feeling unsettled, angry, upset, and resentful that you are where you are in this situation. You may be bargaining in this stage.
3. Preparation: As you work through your feelings, you reach a place of acceptance. This is the place where you look at the pros and cons. This is the Point of Choice.
4. Action: You focus, make a decision, and start taking some form of action.
5. Maintenance: You check your action and continue to take steps to actively choose what is life-energizing. You feel confident and thankful for your work, and see the value in your positive change.
6. Recycling: You check and move into an earlier stage to understand, question, or update your thinking and planning.
You have a choice about how you wish to experience your process of change. Confusion and disorientation may seem like challenging aspects of moving into a new way of being, yet the anticipation of new growth and possibility as you move into a new way of experiencing life can also be exhilarating, joyous and freeing.
When you feel frustrated and overwhelmed with next steps, the idea of connecting to an anchor image of a time when you moved through a challenging situation in your past that was successful can help you feel grounded and hopeful about your next steps now.
How did you feel in that situation? Bring these feelings into your current situation. The power of this positive memory will energize your emotional brain. Your emotional brain only knows “now.” As you motivate your choices with positive emotion, you create neural pathways and encouragement for the conscious mind to take action in the present.
Knowing that the cycles of life and change are part of living is wisdom, you can choose how you experience your life at any moment. Each breath, each thought, and each new day brings new steps, opportunities for growth, and new possibilities.
Kimberly Rex, MSis an Advanced Resonance Repatterning® practitioner, Master Wellness and Well-being Life Coach, and Person-Centered Expressive Therapist.
What am I? Am I the bulb that carries the light, or am I the light of which the bulb is a vehicle? ~Joseph Campbell
Your life, insights, and relationships are energy in motion. Everything down to the cellular level pulses or vibrates. The quality of these vibrations create form and function. Even DNA in its spiraling, geometric pattern of proportions controls your “form.”
There is order in life to not only give form but to transform energy. This order maintains life whether it be the life of a plant, your body, relationship or business. Source energy of sound and light provides the driving and sustaining power for all existence. The light that creates, enhances and maintains life is specific.
…the light not only from our sun but also from billions upon billions of similar stars is at exactly the right frequency for life as we know it to exist. If it was of a higher frequency- as in x rays and gamma rays-living systems would be blown apart. If it was of a lower frequency, as in radio waves, its energy would be insufficient to be absorbed and utilized. ~John Davidson from his book, Subtle Energy. Subtle Energy book link
This insight can also be applied to personal and business relationships. If the frequency is too high it can show up in lack of order, organization, or grounding. This creates conflict, anxiety, stress, frustration, distrust, or anger. When there is insufficient energy for the relationship or business, this shows up as lack of motivation, feelings of powerlessness, exhaustion, fear or withdrawal.
Feeding the energy circuit not only includes form and function but wave and particle. This creates a magnetic field of attraction. You are all things, current, flow, magnetic field, positive, negative, Yin, Yang, sound, and light. Every issue you have has a particular frequency. This means that your arguments, back ache or business difficulties, as well as your joy, feelings of empowerment and grounding, have particular frequencies. Your energy holds huge potential. The good news is that this potential creates new possibilities that start within you!
To affect positive change, start by working with the filter through which you experience life mentally and emotionally. Clearing the filter where information has been disrupted or stopped helps to enliven and harmonize your Chi energy. This can be done through cleansing your body-mind system of toxic thoughts, substances and feelings, nourishing your body with movement, breath, light, color and relaxation, whole foods and spiritual practice. Couple this with life-enhancing actions based on love to keep you connected to the primal energy of your core essence.
When you address inner issues of pain, you enhance the capacity to connect more deeply to your inner brilliance. This impacts both the form and function of your life. Healing through the process of loving every aspect of yourself: positive, negative, light, dark, anger, fear, misconceptions and non-truths, you enhance your life energy. As you acknowledge and integrate the higher purpose and lessons from these places in your life that have brought you where you to where you are, it becomes much more possible to love, value and appreciate the positive inside of you. This, in turn, creates more life energy to strengthen, magnetize and manifest your positive intentions.
Kimberly Rex, MS is a certified Resonance Repatterning®, Person-Centered Expressive Therapist, Wellness and Well-being Life Coach who works with people by phone, online, or proxy..
Re-pattern you life to experience greater integrity in your wellness and well-being.
Resonance Repatterning® sessions work with levels of your destiny with a number of healing disciplines that create balance and harmony in the physical, emotional, mental, and spirit levels of your life. At this time of year, in fall, it is especially a good time to look at inspiration and let go as it manifests in your life based on the Chinese Five Elements and Meridian System. One of the primary questions asked at this time of year is “What is your purpose in life or in the world?” followed by “What do you need to let go of to experience your life purpose?Family Systemsis also particularly suited for working with reclaiming and restoring love with a sense of harmonizing order that influences your own destiny and life purpose in the world.
What is Destiny?
From the perspective of Family Systems work developed by Bert Hellinger, your destiny is something that is personal. It is part of who you are as related to your parents, culture, language, and all of the groups with whom you coincide. According to this, you can only be as strong and experience the vital essence and power in your life if you agree with this. This means that you are aligned with the fact that you have the biological patterns of your parents and ancestors. You were brought up in a particular way with specific thoughts, beliefs, and patterns that came directly from your family of origin.
It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves. ~ William Shakespeare
Taking Information about Destiny from Your Family System
In Family Systems work the purpose of this insight is to build awareness of the order in which you arrived into your own family system. It is important that you resonate with the fact that your parents are the “big ones” and you are the “little one,” not the other way around. In some families, the difficulties and challenges of trauma, stress, and disorder create disharmony creates non-coherent loyalties and disorders.
As an example, a child might take on the emotions that were repressed or not dealt with by the parent, and assume responsibility for their parent’s actions or relationship with their partner. In this case, a child might take on the burden of the parent by living out that emotion in their own life, limiting their ability to experience their full range of emotions, or living out the life-depleting or limiting pattern in their own relationship, business, and community in their adult life.
Sessions work with Earlier Experiences that identify and shed light on the initial and original patterns that became imprinted. The effects of earlier experiences, trauma and unresolved emotions get translated into how you carry yourself through the world in the present. This is communicated in your posture, your breathing patterns, your eating habits, self-care and regulation, your health, and your ability to connect to your sense of well-being and place in the world.
Learning from the Destiny of Others
Taking your parents is more about becoming aware of these earlier patterns while developing a new way to show love and loyalty to your family of origin. This happens by becoming aware that each person has their own fate with all of its cultural, biological, belief systems, health issues, and choices. In sessions, I often refer to this process as opening a treasure box. Within this box are jewels, roses, as well as tacks and thorns. With the acceptance of this as a reality, there can be a willingness to work with all of the material as it is so that freedom and personal choice can emerge in a new way!
We can not change another person’s destiny. However, we can give back a person’s ability to respond to life based on that person’s own choices. This creates respect and dignity while freeing other people in your Family System including yourself to do the same thing in each particular life.
Taking the Gift or Higher Lesson
The past has lessons that include gifts and higher teachings that allow you to develop your capacity to heal and serve. Many times in sessions we work with the question, “What is the higher lesson or gift from this issue?” As each person answers this question for themselves, it becomes clear that purpose in their own lives and in the world are integrally connected with their ancestral and family system’s content.
It is here that the potential for sharing this lesson can influence your life purpose so you can expand into the world. The circle of your family’s beliefs and constrictions from the past become tools for permission to then expand your circle, to explore life from the place of authorship within. This process becomes one of both inspiration and letting go. Knowing that you are connected to your ancestors, you can learn from them, and expand on that learning.
This knowledge is sacred, and it is what both challenges and sustains you. At the same time, it is the capacity to explore the world with new eyes and ways of being that allow you to move out into the world with your inner gifts. Doing so is based on working with what you have learned over time, all your own trials, tribulations, triumphs, and lessons. By doing so, you give voice and wisdom from your destiny in your expression of your life purpose in the world!
Kimberly Rex, MS is a Certified Master Life Coach, Resonance Repatterning® Practitioner, and Person-Centered Expressive Therapist who works with you to achieve your life goals and positive intentions by phone, online, or proxy. Contact Kimberly with this link.
The invitation to breathe-free is more than just a physical process. The in and outflow of breath within your body is directly associated with your feelings. This means that your breath gives you feedback on the quality of your physical, emotional, and mental states over time in taking in life energy and letting go.
Breathing in you take in life energy to inspire you in all that you do and feel. Breathing out you let go of that which is not needed in your body-mind system as just one of the magnificent processes you are automatically involved in every second of your life.
For this reason, it is important to look at when your breath cycle gets stuck, interrupted or blocked so that you can restore the natural breathing cycle to breathe~ free by repatterning your life for greater vitality and nourishment today for your wellness and well-being!
The Beginning Breath Cycle
Entry into the physical world through the birth process influences your breath patterns of taking nurture from your mother while in the process of integrating into the new environment you have entered. When there is a traumatic birth or the infant is removed too soon from in-utero connection or nourishment, there can be long-term negative effects related to breathing patterns reacting to stress, anxiety, shock, pain, or fear. Physically, this might show up as long-term challenges with asthma, smoking in order to try to take a breath, or overstimulation through sports activity in an attempt to fully fill your lungs.
Impact of Trauma on Your Breathing
The natural in and outflow of breath within your body is directly associated with your feelings. The way you breathe gives you feedback on how you are experiencing life and your emotions. This can be in response to an event, communication or situation in your present, or the effects of unresolved trauma and shock from your birth process, or in your life from the past. This shows up as an ongoing stress response that shows up in your body-mind system through your breath patterns.
Becoming aware of where you continuously hold your breath, breathe in shallowly, or breathe out excessively as sighing gives you a read-out on how you receive and integrate vital life energy from the air you breathe in. This has an impact on both the quality of life and energy you have for your body-mind system, and also directly affects how you respond to daily challenges and stress. Your breathing patterns impact how you feel in response to stress, and influence your ability to relax including your ability to let go of negative issues impacting your view of life.
By resolving and updating your life-depleting breath patterns you will notice a positive change in your life in your mood and physical energy. This, in turn, benefits you in orienting you towards life-energizing choices by creating more vital energy for your positive intentions.
Breathe to Heal TED Talk with Max Strom
“Because you are breathing in, it is a miracle. You are celebrating that you are alive.”~Thich Nhat Hanh
This is your invitation to identify what your body-mind system is reporting through your breathing patterns. Resonance Repatterning® works by identifying and transforming patterns embedded in your unconscious body-mind system stored in your Nervous System to resolve pre-natal, birth process, and life-depleting traumatic experiences. Your body is designed for self-healing. It is designed for success. This repatterning is designed to allow you to transform limiting breath patterns so you can breathe free!
Having a cold this time of year or any time of year is no fun. The change from summer to fall not only creates change in temperature, but also affects what you body needs in this transition into the cooler months. Because Resonance Repatterning ® includes the Chinese Five Elementand Meridian System, this article will explore natural healing ways from the Five Element perspective as well as natural nutritional and alternative medicinesuggestions.
The Chinese Five Element Wheel relates to other Elements also. Earth Element feeds Metal Element with nurture and support from the stomach and spleen. When Earth Element is involved, the questions you might ask are: ” Where do I need support in my life or feel from my center?” and ” How can I improve the quality of nourishment I take into my body-mind system?” A cold many times is a signal from the body that it needs rest and care in the face of overwork, stress, and inability to acknowledge the body’s signals to slow down and do some self-care. Taking time to take care of yourself is important to your overall wellness and well-being.
When Metal Element is overactive, it may be a signal to balance with Fire Element. This can be a call for more lightness, joy, love, and connection with others. Questions to ask yourself: “Where have I lost connection with my family, friends, and groups?” “What can I do to bring in more joy into my life?” ” Where am I receiving criticism from self or others?” ” Am I over-analyzing things?”
Nutritional and Alternative Medicine Support
1. Go more alkaline than acidic. This means decrease meat, grains and dairy, and increase your intake of vegetables. Decrease milk products because they increase mucus production and inflammation.
2. Drink more fluids. Choose at least eight glasses daily of water, herbal, white or green tea, as well as natural fruit and vegetable juices to clear your lungs and intestines.
3. Get enough sleep. Rest is a way to revitalize, nurture yourself and heal.
4. Get out your stockpot and make a bone or astragalus broth. A bone broth has nourishing minerals, gelatin to help with digestion and amino acids to support the immune system. A broth with a few astragalus sticks thrown in will strengthen your immune system’s response to chronic issues. Be sure to take the sticks out of the broth before use. More on how to cook with astragalus here: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/232639136985259281/
5. Get more Vitamin C. Eat cantaloupe, bell peppers, citrus, pineapple, and black cherries. Purchase products like Emergen-C and Airborne to keep handy in your kitchen or medicine cabinet when you feel a cold coming on.
6. Drink honey, lemon and ginger tea: Start by putting 1 Tbsp. grated ginger in a teapot or medium bowl. Pour 1 cup boiling water over it and let it steep for 3 minutes. Meanwhile, put 1 Tbsp. lemon juice and 1 Tbsp. honey in a large cup. Strain ginger tea into the cup. Finally, stir, and taste.
7. Decrease and avoid alcohol and sugar to balance your cellular communication for greater harmony.
8. Use these acupressure points: a) For coughing, start by crossing your arms. Then push your thumbs into the inside of your elbows while holding the opposite arms.
b) Do the same at your shoulders, pressing under and into your arm pits.
c) For sinus and congestion, give two finger support to the area between your thumb and forefinger. Press firmly, first on one hand, and then the other. Do this for a few moments each. d) Press your fingers into the skin on each side of your nostrils to bring relief from sneezing and sniffles. e) For Immune System support, tap on your sternum, about 2 inches down from where your left and right collar bone connect. This activates the thymus which is closely associated with the immune system.
9. Use herbs and aromatherapy of eucalyptus or tea tree oil help to clear your sinuses. Herbs that are especially good for clearing and healing your respiratory system include thyme, sage, oregano, rosemary, hyssop and lemon balm. These herbs can be incorporated into your cooking, used in steams, and made into teas.
These essential oils will clear your sinus and support the healing process. Eucalyptus and tea tree oil can also be healing allies for respiratory and sinus issues. As an example, place some eucalyptus oil on a cotton swab. Put the cotton in an old pill bottle. Open the bottle and inhale the scent when you feel congested. You can also keep a tissue with a few drops of these oils with you, or diffuse these oils into your environment.
9. Supplements and Remedies: Explore with a health practitioner what works for you.
Echinacea and Oregon Grape Root support the healing process with colds, coughs, and congestion. Vitamin A, D3, zinc, and antithetic acid are also reported for their healing benefits. Sambucol or elderberries are loaded with bioflavonoids and Vitamin C. Aconite, a homeopathic remedy, is a healing remedy for fatigue and strengthens the immune system.
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