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The Balance of Giving and Receiving

Resonance Repatterning® works with a number of healing disciplines from Bert Hellinger’s Family Systems material. This work balances  giving and receiving with your ability to take what is nourishing to your body-mind system, personal relationships, and your interactions with the world.

Bert Hellinger speaks to the need for order or balance to interact with others in a way that brings meaning, dignity, respect, healing and love. Creating balance in the process of giving and receiving allows you to remain centered, respectful of your needs as well as those of others in the process.

Giving and ReceivingGiving

If we want to help another person, we must first be in a place of humility. There are limits to giving and taking. When we come from a place of an open heart we can offer the possibility of offering knowing that whatever the situation, that the other person or persons are individuals with unique and specific beliefs, patterns and perspective in life. We can only give when we have something to give. This can range from money, experience, love, time and energy. And, we cannot give what we do not have.

In the same way, the expectation for certain results or outcome when we give to another is only in balance when there is a respect for the free will of another. Being aware of another’s limits is important. Imbalance within can happen when we try to take a burden from someone else and carry it for them. Instead, acceptance of what circumstance or where a person is in their life. This allows for the possibility of dignity and growth on the other person’s part when we offer only that which we have to give.

Co-dependence often arises out of non-coherent “giving.” Many times what starts out as the need and hope of being the rescuer, often ends up being resentment leading to feeling like the victim. With significant feelings of resentment, the outcome might also move into anger, frustration and blame leading to the role of persecutor.  This can take a toll on your relationship, your health and well-being.

Karpman Drama Triangle~

I used to spend so much time reacting and responding to everyone else that my life had no direction. Other people’s lives, problems, and wants set the course for my life. Once I realized it was okay for me to think about and identify what I wanted, remarkable things began to take place in my life.” ~ Melody Beattie


Being in any relationship there is both give and receiving. In using the order of giving and receiving, it is important to resonate with not only giving what you have but to take only what you need meaning what is good for you. This is learned very early in life based on family patterns observed and internalized that translate into beliefs, unconscious patterns and systemic loyalties.

This might also mean that you need to accept things as they are. By doing so involves looking more deeply to the internal places of your conflict and fears related to receiving. Underlying unconscious material that keeps you from receiving what benefits you might be related to issues with guilt, trust, permission or need to protect yourself. Response or reaction might also stem from loyalty to a systemic way of being, or as a way to demonstrate love for a family member based on observation or unconscious need for inclusion in your family of origin.

Resonance=Attraction with Giving and Receiving

Everything that happens to you is a reflection of what you believe about yourself. We cannot outperform our level of self-esteem. We cannot draw to ourselves more than we think we are worth.” ~ Iyanla Vanzant

What we resonate with, we experience in life. Our internal beliefs whether they are conscious or being played out through unconscious material from decades or generations of beliefs, thoughts, habits, and behavior that impact your life and relationships. At the level of resonance, you choose relationships based on your need to work out the places in your life that are unhealed or resolved.

You inherently choose partners, work, and living situations that amplify the patterns in your system, and those needed for healing. This is why the characteristics or patterns of your relationships and interactions with the world seem to be playing over and over again. A client of mine once said, “ My relationships are the same every time. Different person, but same material.”

This is the reason it is important to access unconscious personal, family and generational patterns to transform these patterns into more coherent patterns of love, freedom, wisdom, and balance in your life. Resonance Repatterning Family Systems sessions include specific sessions that focus on codependence, and balanced giving and receiving. Personal sessions are tools to re-pattern your life for greater wellness and well-being in your relationships, health, and business.

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Kimberly Rex, MS

Resonance Repatterning® sessions get to the root of what you need to experience a positive and sustainable change in your life. Your body is a map of your life’s experiences. It is through working with this information that transformation through the connection to your family system’s patterns can be healed. By doing so, you gain awareness, a greater sense of ease, peace, and genuine authorship for your life.

Contact Kimberly Rex, MS to set up your personal Resonance Repatterning session by phone, Skype, or in-person here.

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