Apr 12, 2017

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Is It Stress Speaking? The Physical and Emotional Signals

Your emotions are signals  directly related to how you respond to stress in any given moment.  Stress can build due to a hectic lifestyle or  resonance with  the chaos of  problems in life. When you feel as though you cannot effect change, anxiety and fear can increase.  The work of Dr. Claire Weekes, an Australian MD  who is known for her healing work with people with panic attacks addressed the emotional and physical components of stress. The physical signals of anxiety include an increase in adrenaline production, quickened heartbeat, and activation of the Sympathetic Nervous System.  The emotional signals  take many forms including agitation, anxiety, fear,  and lead to fatigue and depression. when your body is  increasingly sensitized to the cycle of physical alert   Anxiety also affects the functioning of your thinking, creates memory imprints and activates fight or flight reactions.  Dr. Weekes called this “Second Fear” manifesting as confusion, bewilderment and fear through  de-energizing thoughts, feelings and physical tension.

According to Bruce Lipton, a molecular biologist and author of Biology of Belief, the impact of stress over time impacts your health, sense of well-being, and even the interpersonal relations in global communities. Biology of Belief book link

4 billion bits of information travel into your Nervous System per second, yet you are only able to process about 2% of that information consciously. Much of this information stored within your body-mind system are beliefs, early teaching, unprocessed residue of material from earlier experiences, and/or generational imprints. Additional factors include your attitude and concept of time about what is happening.

As an example, it’s the difference between believing  There’s a light at the end of the tunnel”  and “The light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train.”  Your sense of urgency, completion and intensity affect the impact of your experience. Shifting perspective makes all the difference in the world to your body-mind system!

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lie our growth and our freedom. ~Viktor E. Frankl

The analogy of cellular function and communication offer a good perspective. Cells respond with a binary response  through either orienting towards life and engaging in communication between systems more optimally when there is a felt sense of safety. Perceived unresolved stress or threat creates a disruption of life energy flow and the need for protection or shutdown. This, in turn, decreases communication between internal systems, and results in life-depleting or disrupted flow of  life energy.  Coping with challenges and conflict issues in a way that leads to experiencing a greater sense of safety, trust and perspective based on the present is vital.  When you are seen, heard and feel understood, this creates a space for resolution and healing. When this happens, your emotional outlook changes, and  the functioning  of your immune system also benefits.

Anxiety and stress can manifest in repetitive emotional reactions to patterns or beliefs in relationships, finances, cultural interchange, expectations  for  life, gender, and groups.  When you feel overwhelmed, depressed and disconnected from others you are cut off from energizing relationship.  Blame, anger, and chaos limit the ability to sustain life-energizing interactions.

   So what can you do when faced with stress or overwhelm? Dr. Weekes recommended acceptance instead of resistance, letting time pass, and allowing the body to  let go of tension in what she called the sensation of floating

An empowering tool that will help you is a “Pause for Centering.”   Listen to this recording to experience this modality and its benefits: http://kimberlyrex.audioacrobat.com/download/PauseforCentering.mp3

The next time you are feeling stress over a conversation, sitting in rush hour traffic, put on hold on the phone, or need a few minute’s solace, give yourself this gift of peace. It is a way to activate positive life energy, to create greater inner peace and harmony in your life and relationship with others.

  • A Pause for Centering comes from Resonance Repatterning© material.  Check out more of Claire Weeke’s work, Hope and Help for Your Nerves, and her CD entitled, Pass Through Panic: Freeing Yourself from Anxiety and Fear.  Claire Weeke’s book

Receive Eight Natural Modalities to Navigate Stress and Transition when you sign up for FREE monthly newsletter at https://windowstotheheart.wordpress.com/sign-up-for-my-monthly-newsletter/

Kimberly Rex, MS is a Certified Resonance and Person-Centered Expressive Therapy Practitioner. She works with clients by phone, in-person and proxy to support creating positive change for wellness and well-being. Her website:  http://www.windowstotheheart.net

NOTICE: Article(s) may be republished free of charge to relevant websites, as long as Copyright and Author Resource Box are included; and ALL Hyperlinks REMAIN intact and active.

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Mar 26, 2017

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Every Sound Counts: Insight into How Sound Heals

“There is nothing more genuine than breaking away from the chorus to learn the sound of your own voice.” ~ Po Bronson

We live in an ocean of sound and frequencies. From the sound of your mother’s voice, a bird’s song, or the turning over of the engine in your car, every sound counts. These vibrations give meaning to your world. Everything has a vibrational signature including the moment that registered as you when you were born. Sound frequencies express themselves in every aspect of your life. When you know this, the realization of the importance of acknowledging your inner sound, your expressions and relationship with your environment expands.

Music is associated with the emotional body, and helps to build harmonic structures for healing. This can be seen in the work of sound therapists, Qi Gong Medical practitioners and in the work of Resonance Repatterning©. When unresolved emotions or traumatic experiences are stored in the body, they get stored as frequencies. Sound, melody and intervals (space between two notes) serve as energetic tools to enliven, break up, and restore greater harmony and balance to the body-mind field.

   According to Fabien Maman, author of The Role of Music in the 21st Century, musical tones create physiological effects at different levels.

  • Specific musical notes are linked to specific acupuncture points, and stimulate or tonify life energy flow.
  • Melodies create responses at the molecular level.
  • Harmony works with the ganglia (nerve clusters and sympathetic nervous system including the heart, glands and involuntary muscles and endocrine system (system necessary for normal growth and development, reproduction and homeostasis).
  • Resonating vibrational frequencies created by harmonic overtones link with your nervous system, chakras, and subtle energy bodies.

We’ve all had the experience of listening to music to change our moods. Music can help you feel energized or calm down. The work of Don Campbell who published The Mozart Effect has been used in hospitals and schools to help create greater harmony and healing. Accelerated Learning for new language acquisition has been employed with the use of Baroque Music through the Lozanov Technique successfully for learning. Music with the frequencies of the Earth underneath have been used to calm people with anxiety or attention deficit disorder through the work of Heart Math Institute. Music moves us and generates change at the emotional, mental and physical levels.

In a world of increased mechanical sound and electric music, we have been impacted by a depletion of natural and tonal diversity. Jill Purce, a sound therapist, acknowledges the vital importance of making your own sound to serve the need for connection to self-healing and the Earth. She cites that our separation from care of the Earth as humanity is directly related to our separation from making natural sound.

Not only is it important to make sounds which vibrate through the bones and systems of our own bodies, it is important to hear them. When we stop listening to the natural sounds found in the forests and jungles, we sacrifice part of our sound ecosystem, and lose part of our connection to that which nourishes us all. Jonathon Goldman speaks to the fact that each and every tone in these systems are integral to the health of the bigger picture.

Your own voice can actually help you feel more grounded, process emotions, and feel supported. For thousands of years, song has served as a way to express emotion as a connection to one another through storytelling, to the Earth, the Heavens to the greater All That Is. There is good reason for this. Your voice creates vibration. Your ears energize your brain. Bringing song back into your life can serve as an empowering natural healing tool.

Working with the natural vibrational qualities of your own voice and acoustic instruments creates a fuller spectrum of harmonics to impact change in your life. In fact, according to Sharry Edwards, a sound frequency researcher, the human voice can serve to identify issues on the emotional, mental and physical levels. Missing tonal frequencies can identify and measure dis-stress, dis-ease and wellness. In Resonance Repatterning® sessions, tones are checked for resonance regarding frequency material in your body-mind system. Shifting frequencies literally changes radio channels at the energetic level of life for healing.

In a universe of vibration, every sound counts!

Experience music to heal yourself  with a  CD entitled, New World. The tracks include frequencies to heal the Earth and her inhabitants. Select one or more tracks to experience this month: http://www.neworld.ca/quantic/en/new-world.shtml

Kimberly Rex, MS is a certified Resonance Repatterning practitioner, Person-Centered Expressive Therapist and Wellness and Well-being Coach who works with people of all ages by phone, Skype, proxy or in-person. To explore the dynamics of sound and how it can create greater wellness and well-being in your life, contact her at http://windowstotheheart.net


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Feb 26, 2017

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Resonating with Optimism and Taking Unhesitating Action with Your Positive Intentions

As we move towards spring, it’s important to look at what you have been feeling related to you own life and aspirations through resonating with optimism  and unhesitating action with your positive intentions. In nature, winter is a time of seeming dormancy, however, underneath the surface there is a recollection and conservation of energy for new life and possibilities. With the increase of hours of daylight and warmth new plants emerge with the encouragement of the sun and temperature.

“Nature looks dead in winter because her life is gathered into her heart.  She withers the plant down to the root that she may grow it up again fairer and stronger.”  Hugh Macmillan

In the same way, you, too, can access your vital energy for positive change. Your resonance with emotion that has been delegated for transformation sets the stage for the kind of energy and change you experience within and how you experience life in the world.

Every emotion is a signal that points to a response or reaction to something in your life either in the present or in response to past events or experiences. These emotions correlate with both coherent and non-coherent energy, and have a direct relationship to how you respond to life in any given moment.

As plants in spring respond to nourishment from the exterior world, they first resonate with taking nurture from the soil, the air, the rain and sun. They are oriented to what is life-enhancing. As they move up into the light, they trans-form through expansion. At the same time, they are also grounded in their roots and core in the process of creating new possibilities.

In Resonance Repatterning® your resonance is where your life energy is dedicated. If your life energy is dedicated more to fear, hate, anger, grief or worry, you are not open to being able to take what you need from life to nourish you or experience life’s gifts in the present. You are more likely to feel de-energized overall by the scope of these emotions over time when untended. In sessions, I refer to this material as taking “emotional real estate.”

What changes where your life energy is dedicated? Your emotions point to an underlying unmet need that has not yet been heard, acknowledged or understood. Anger can be unfinished business from the past, fear can be from a limiting belief that has been reinforced over time rooted in an earlier experience, grief can be from a separation or loss,  and worry can be from an anxious state that has not yet been resolved through your Nervous System. When these emotions rule your inner world, they can lead to depression, isolation, pessimism, and physical dis-ease. This does not allow for expansion or ability to orient towards what is life-energizing.

“To let go is to release the images and emotions, the grudges and fears, the clingings and disappointments of the past that bind our spirit.” ~Jack Kornfield

The beauty of working with Resonance Repatterning is the knowledge that all emotions have coherence and non-coherence purpose. Your anger can move you towards optimism, your fear can uncover courage, your grief can lead you to inspiration, and your hate can lead you to greater compassion. Through a session’s work, coherent roots of support and nurture in the present emerge through healing your core essence on the emotional, mental, physical and spirit levels. By doing so, you can be more in tune with the nourishing state of inner freedom and choice.

   As we approach the season of new possibilities, spring, where would you like to dedicate your life energy?  

Where do you need more life energy for your positive intentions?

This is your personal invitation to experience a session designed for this purpose entitled, Resonating with Optimism and Taking unhesitating Action with Your Positive Intentions.

Register for your personal session here: http://www.windowstotheheart.net/sessions/


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Feb 18, 2017

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Creating Harmony and Balance in Your Giving and Receiving in Relationships

Creating Harmony and Balance in Your Giving and Receiving in Relationships

Resonance Repatterning® works with a number of healing disciplines including the work of Bert Hellinger’s Family Systems material. This work is a valuable for creating harmony and balance between giving and receiving in your relationships enhancing your ability to take what is nourishing into your body-mind system, personal relationships, and your interactions in the world.
Bert Hellinger speaks to the need for order or balance to interact with others in a way that brings meaning, dignity, respect, healing and love. Creating harmony and balance in the process of giving and receiving allows you to remain centered, respectful of both your needs, and the needs of others in the process.


There are some limits to giving and taking. When you come from a place of an open heart you can offer the possibility of knowing that whatever the situation, the other person or persons are individuals with unique and specific beliefs, patterns and perspective in their life. You can only give what you have and when you have the energy to give. This can range from money, experience, love, time and energy. You cannot give what you do not have.
In the same way, your expectations for particular results or outcome when you give to another person is only in balance when there is a respect for the free will of the other person. Being aware of another’s limits is very important. Imbalance within ourselves can happen when we try to take the burden or responsibility from someone else, and try to carry it for them. Accepting a circumstance or where a person is in their life at the time allows them the respectful possibility of dignity and growth.
Co-dependence often shows up as non-coherent “giving.” Many times what starts out as the need and hope for being the rescuer, often ends up leading to resentment, and results in feeling like a victim. Resentment might also lead to greater inner frustration, as well as creating outward blame which then creates the role or perception of being a persecutor. All of this can take a toll on your relationship, your health and well-being.

“I used to spend so much time reacting and responding to everyone else that my life had no direction. Other people’s lives, problems, and wants set the course for my life. Once I realized it was okay for me to think about and identify what I wanted, remarkable things began to take place in my life.”
~ Melody Beattie


In any relationship, there is both give and receiving. In giving and receiving, it is important to resonate with not only giving what you have, but to take only what you need meaning what is good for you. This is learned very early in life based on family patterns observed and learned that translate into beliefs, unconscious patterns and systemic beliefs based on loyalty to your family attitudes and patterns.
Looking at these patterns involves looking more deeply to the internal places of your conflict and fears related to receiving. Underlying unconscious material that keep your from receiving what benefits you could be related to guilt, mistrust, or need to protect yourself. Your reactions in relationships today might also stem from loyalty to your family’s systemic way of being, as a way to demonstrate love for a family member based on your unconscious need to continue to be included in your family of origin.


Everything that happens to you is a reflection of what you believe about yourself. We cannot outperform our level of self-esteem. We cannot draw to ourselves more than we think we are worth. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

What we resonate with, we experience in life. Our internal beliefs whether they are conscious or being played out through unconscious material from decades or generations of beliefs, thoughts, habits, and behavior that impact your life and relationships. At the level of resonance, you choose relationships based on your need to work out the places in your life that are unhealed or resolved.
You inherently choose partners, work, and living situations that amplify the patterns in your system, and those needed for healing. This is why the characteristics or patterns of your relationships and interactions with the world seem to be playing out over and over again.
A client of mine once said, “My relationships are the same every time. Different person, but same material.”
This is the reason it is important to access unconscious personal, family and generational patterns to transform these patterns into more coherent patterns of love, freedom, wisdom and balance in every area of your life.

 Here is your opportunity to create greater harmony and balance in your relationships through transforming your limiting beliefs, attitudes and patterns related to giving and receiving no matter where you live on the planet.

Register for a personal Resonance Repatterning session to repattern your life for greater harmony and balance in your relationships here: http://www.windowstotheheart.net/sessions/

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Feb 5, 2017

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Love Is All You Need for Everything


Love helps orient you to what is life-energizing and healing. This is true for the cells of your body, between family members, partners, as well as communication between nations. Life is an interconnecting web of connection based on needs. It is important to acknowledge that we each have needs for connection and harmony in our lives. The process of identifying and healing these needs starts at the personal level.  Love is all you need for everything.

Your ability to love is equal to your ability to tell the truth about your feelings and needs. Love and bonding also depends on how coherently your life needs were met at the start of life. Ray Castellino and Dr. William Emerson suggest that everything that happens to you prenatally, during your birth process, and your first years contribute to how you respond to life’s challenges. It is the blueprint for your relationships. Being seen and heard for who you are, and allowed to explore and return to the safety of your caretakers impacts how you perceive life and relationship. If life needs are not met in a coherent way early on, your ability to resonate with understanding, appreciation, forgiveness and love for self and others diminishes. You can only see and experience the wholeness of another to the degree you can see and feel the wholeness of yourself. Healing internal conflicts brings peace to your body-mind system, expands your capacity for loving relationships and contributes to creating empathy for humanity and the planet.

   “Everything we do is in service of our needs. When this one concept is applied to our view of others, we’ll see that we have no real enemies, that what others do to us is the best possible thing they know to do to get their needs met.” -Marshall Rosenberg

When there is coherent flow of energy between people in a relationship, there is motivation, capacity to build on differences,  expression of loving and healthy boundaries and a drive to return to union or stability. How you observed your parents moving through conflict creates an imprint of what conflict means to you, and how and if conflict can be resolved. Your conflict style may, in fact, be a response or reaction to what you observed in your early experience of life.

When there is non-coherent energy flow in a relationship with unresolved conflict, this can lead to a feeling of inadequacy, of blaming another for your feelings and pain, or a diminished ability to accept the other for who and where they are. Arguments, negative habits, and behaviors deplete each person and the relationship. These are clues that unmet life needs are speaking. This can result in anger, depression, guilt or shame. These feelings are messengers that help you listen to what is needing your attention in your life.

A loving relationship is not about being free of stress or resistance. It is about growing wings to reach greater compassionate understanding of self and other. Places where personal life needs have not been resolved are opportunities for expanded awareness and healing. This means looking at non-coherent patterns, resistant issues, and the type of relationship issues you attract. Resolving them internally creates new patterns and possibilities for greater harmony.


Love is the universal energy of life.  Empathy is an expression of love. When you can connect and truly listen to another there is greater capacity for contentment, peace of mind and understanding. It empowers you and others to reach for the best possible inside. When you appreciate what you have learned, it helps you integrate new awareness and solutions into your life so you can apply and grow from the experience. Empathy leads to greater relaxation, pleasure and bonding, and helps to support meeting challenges in your life with greater enthusiasm, success and joy. When we recognize that every human being has the same basic life needs, we have greater respect for our common humanity.


The first step is awareness. As a practice, start by listening more deeply to your inner needs. Write down the BASIC LIFE NEEDS List on a piece of paper. Check in with yourself to see if any of these are not now in your life. Use the list to help connect your feelings and needs.

BASIC LIFE NEEDS: Bonding-Closeness-Harmony-Nurturing-Security-Trust-Sleep-Protection-Boundaries-Positive Touch- Appreciation-Respect-Being Understood-Space-Light-Play-Laughter *

    Carry this list with you as you go through the day. These are messengers for you that will make a difference in the quality of your wellness and sense of well-being. When you are feeling some form of stress or come to a standstill in a conflict that’s producing feelings of anger, shame, guilt or fear, look at your list. Is there something on the list that stands out for you? What need is speaking most?

Example: You are feeling overwhelmed by deadlines, too many tasks and not enough downtime. You feel angry because it feels as if there is no end to the amount you have to do, and the list continues to get bigger.  You are blaming  your boss, partner, family.  You check your list. Are needing SPACE, SLEEP or RESPECT?  Is there something you need to express? Do you need to set loving boundaries? Is there a new awareness about a need that you haven’t seen before? For instance, are you multi-tasking to get appreciation, yet it is not showing up? Is you multi-tasking creating an avoidance or keeping you from resolution of an inner conflict? How does this awareness make you feel? What actions are you drawn to take?

Sign up for newsletter for monthly modalities throughout the year with Kimberly Rex, MS, information about teleconferences and e-books to empower your life for greater love, ease, joy, wellness and well-being: https://forms.aweber.com/form/91/1035505691.htm

Thank you for honoring the Copyright material of this article. Kimberly Rex. All Rights Reserved.

RESOURCES for further research:*Basic Life Needs List from Quantum Change Made Easy by Chloe Wordsworth.  Dr. Ray Castellino’s work and trainings: http://www.castellinotraining.com/products/  The Gottman Institute: http://www.gottman.com

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Jan 20, 2017

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Finding Light in the Journey through Darkness

All of us have experienced at some point in our life~ a dark night of the soul. This can arrive in many forms. This can be through the loss of someone dear, an ending of a relationship, job, illness or news of something that changes how you see and experience the world so emphatically that your world is turned upside down and inside out. Finding light in the journey through darkness is a process that changes your experience of life for the long-term.

Into DarknessThe journey through darkness has been described by many like Carl Jung as spiritual alchemy, Joseph Campbell as the Hero’s Journey, Bert Hellinger as soul weight, and in the Stages of Grief  from Elizabeth Kubler-Ross.

The work of John Tarrant, a Zen psychotherapist, in his book The Light inside the Darkness, describes the landscape of this inner journey. It begins with a descent into a world where you feel completely joined or wed to the experience. You are literally taken by it. Your emotions, thoughts, feelings and awareness become the lens for all you experience. It is a falling away from life as you knew it including beliefs, belongings. and your idea of what life is.

“Descending, we leave behind the way we were.” ~John Tannant from The Light Inside the Dark

Yet this unexpected fall can be an initiation preparing you for a new way of experiencing life.The impact of these events leaves imprints on your heart and being. In the clutches of grief and struggle, there is a call for awakening to what you are truly living. The insight into your innocence where you have not been in touch with your feelings can then transform into more conscious awareness, compassion, and capacity for life.

The Carving

In the abyss of grief and darkness, you wrestle with your beliefs, your sense of betrayal, and your suffering. It is in this process you can get access to what you are facing, and what direction you are facing. In Family Systems sessions, clients are often dedicating most of their energy to a sense of betrayal or unresolved family issue. This means that their life energy is dedicated primarily to the past, and this conscious or unconscious material by taking the burden of it within.

However, in the midst of this despair, there is also the opportunity to open to the need for healing. This happened in my experience while processing the death of my father. Colors and sounds were more intense. I found myself being drawn deeper and deeper into drawing and dreaming. I felt that I was literally in an altered state of experience throughout my days and nights. I filled notepads with drawings while taking care of funeral arrangements, taxes and medical bills. One evening, I had a dream about my father that shocked me enough to seek resolution and healing. In that dream he told me that I had abandoned him. Instead, the truth for me, felt the other way around. It was that feeling of betrayal that led me to seek a Resonance Repatterning session.

“The dark night serves the spirit by forcing you to rely on something beyond human capacity. It can open you up to new and mysterious possibilities.”  ~Thomas Moore from Care of the Soul

 The Process

The modalities of color and movement with music freed internal feelings of being lost in the darkness. In a Resonance Repatterning session, I felt a sudden connection to my ancestral line and to life itself! And, I felt a release in my thinking with a shift from a feeling of abandonment to encouragement to face life. I had lived my whole life up until that point carrying the burden of abandonment that my father had carried through his own life with the abandonment by his birth mother. With this, I also felt great compassion and love.

“The heart that breaks open can contain the whole universe.”  ~Joanna Macy 

When a client is able to take the lesson from a Family System experience, they are then able to find their own place in life by giving respect and responsibility to the other family member or partner for their part in the process. This allows the client to occupy their true place in the system informed as a part of the system, and then able to face life. By doing so the circle of their world expands so they can be more in the present. They have a cup to draw insight and nourishment, and a way of holding a perspective of their own life’s meaning and direction.

“Should you shield the canyons from the windstorms you would never see the true beauty of their carvings.”~Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Facing Life Again 

The spiritual healing process takes the time it needs. It is ongoing in that you see the world through a new lens. You begin to see things in a new way, and this trickles down into your earlier beliefs to impact and change what you stop doing, what you start doing, and how to face life by doing something good with your new understanding and compassion for yourself and others.

For me, it became the study of Resonance Repatterning, nourishing a Peace Project that worked with basic needs and UN Millennium Goals, as well as continuing to work with children with special needs. Accessing the message from this “dark night of the soul” allowed me to see the world with a broader lens. This lens allowed a larger cup for greater kindness towards myself and others with greater conscious integrity for all my experiences: grief, fear, frustration, worry, and, yes, joy, understanding and stillness.

Family Systems is a process that  has been integrated into Resonance Repatterning.  Find out more about this process: https://windowstotheheart.wordpress.com/2010/05/08/what-is-family-systems/       https://windowstotheheart.wordpress.com/2012/05/26/honoring-the-messages-from-all-your-relations/

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