Mar 9, 2016

Posted by in Repattern Your Life Articles

Anger as an Invitation to Resolve the Past and Unmet Needs in the Present

When you experience frustration or anger, it is a signal that something underneath is needing to be heard. An underlying unmet need that might need acknowledging or voicing is attempting to get through to you as an invitation to resolve the past.

Anger and fear often work hand and hand. In this time of year on the Chinese Five Element Meridian System, we are making the transition into the season that asks you to balance and harmonize the organs related to storing toxins, particular to liver and anger affecting your vision and how you see the world. Your perceived vision of what is happening around you and to you, affects how you respond or react to life.

A Signal from the Past

Anger can be the messenger for something speaking from the past you wish had resolved differently. By holding onto the emotional frequency of this wish, you literally keep yourself from ever getting the need met in the present with the life you have created as an adult.

Many times an earlier experience in childhood needs tending. The anger and frustration about what you wanted instead from a parent or guardian, can keep you from parenting yourself.

The layers of disappointment, misunderstanding, or the inability to express your need may be the very thing that continues to cloud how you are seeing the world.

For example, let’s say that one of your life needs from the past was, and still is, “I am cared for.” Many times abuse, misunderstanding, lack of conflict resolution or trauma colors the lens by which you continue to see your personal world due to the resonance with a parent or caregiver who did not protect you, hug you, play with you, listen to you, or instead ignored you.

With that said, it also allows you to then move towards acceptance in a new way. This new way creates humility in the present rather than internal conflict through still fighting with the past arrogantly (as if you could change it and get a different outcome). When you let go of this fantasy, you free up some inner “emotional real estate” to create new space for finding ways to meet your underlying needs in your life today.

The Power of Creating a New Possibility in the Present

It’s important to see that your need in the past was important. Regretting that your need was not met allows you to name the need, while you go beneath the anger to a place of grieving so that you can then start to author the underlying need for care in your life now.

When you move into a space of understanding that your need is also valid, it can become a possibility for it to be met with positive action.  You can create new possibilities for getting your need heard and met in the present in your relationships, interactions, through observation and self-care.

Looking for ways to activate this awareness in your life with unconditional love for yourself and others opens the doorway to realizing what you can and cannot change. This empowers you to experience a greater sense of balance and strength knowing that you have the capacity to take care of yourself today.

Clearing the Lens

Awareness in the present is an invitation to notice, see and observe. Use your vision to look at life through the lens of the inner need. Identify where this need is not being met. Look at ways you can move into meeting this need for yourself, or where your relationships are reflecting back your instruction for next steps.

“The knowledge of the past stays with us. To let go is to
release the images and emotions, the grudges and fears, the
clingings and disappointments of the past that bind our
spirit.” ~Jack Kornfield

It’s an Inside Job

How would you be able to change this in your world today so that this need might be met in a way that is meaningful to you?

Ask yourself the following:

1) “Can I get this need met by creating more self-care in my daily life?” This could include eating whole foods, getting into nature, getting a good night’s rest, or building a practice of meditaiton, or to notice more where you have been cared for in unexpected or until now unseen ways.

2) “Where can I get this need met with others?” “Where am I not receiving this from others?” Notice how the pattern from the past plays out in your selection of relationships. Are you continuing to try to get the need met in a similar scenario where it is near to impossible to get that need met?

3) Do I resonate with receiving what is beneficial for me, and resonating with ” I am enough”
and being worthy of care?

4) Do I push care away, or choose relationships that only go so far before dissolving? Notice what frustration comes up at particular times in your relationship, and how these feelings are similar to how you felt in situations from your past.

“Every criticism, judgment, diagnosis, and expression of anger is the tragic expression of an unmet need.” ~Marshall Rosenberg

5) Notice where you blame, judge or dislike others that triggers and keeps your anger going.

It’s About Having More Choice

We all get angry. We all get upset. Begin to notice where and when you find yourself spiraling down into anger. It is a pivotal choice-making invitation. You can continue to react in old patterns that increases stress levels, or use anger as an opportunity to move into new emotional territory. Take a pause, and give yourself some time with your feelings underneath.  Through mindfulness, you can begin by looking at your choices in what you are creating with your life energy. You can begin to choose what is more loving and supportive for your life. This becomes a vital force in creating positive change. By doing so, you plant new seeds for growth and nurture.

    Detoxification of the body-mind system is more than just physical. If you have ever done a detox, you realize that emotions come up like anger, frustration, grief, tears, etc. stored in your organs. Healing both your liver (anger) and kidneys (fear) are essential for experiencing new possibilities towards getting your needs met in a more productive way.

Resonance Repatterning® sessions build the bridge within your body-mind system so you can experience wellness and well-being by creating more harmony and balance where you need it specifically.  Personal Repattern Your Life© sessions are a great opportunity to detox holistically so that you have greater choice for dedicating your life energy to your positive intentions.                   To register for a session, register with this link: http://www.windowstotheheart.net/sessions/

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